Back Stabbers

I met Mr. BooHoo on a dating site several months ago and we became friends. We never met in person but had many phone conversations, and emailed each other daily.   We shared a lot of very personal things about ourselves and got to know each other well, despite the fact we were not romantically involved.

When I was dealing with a breakup I confided in him about the relationship.  Mr. BooHoo never liked my ex and was always very supportive and empathetic.  He called me every morning to see if I was doing alright.  They weren’t friends and never talked so I trusted him not to repeat anything I said.

Two months ago Mr. BooHoo and I had a disagreement over what I thought was a minor misunderstanding.  He was very upset and left the dating site… we didn’t talk or email again.

A week ago he came back to the dating site and began sending me rude, nasty emails.  Apparently, the disagreement made him so angry that he wanted to get revenge.  He contacted my ex to talk about me.

I couldn’t imagine him going to my ex and telling him things we talked about, but that’s exactly what he did.   My ex never liked him either but apparently had no problem sharing his own dirty secrets about me.  I guess that’s what you call male bonding.

I was stunned and then furious when he told me what he had done.  Now I was in his line of fire and he was unloading his barrel on me.   This time it was a double barrel of his bull shit and my ex’s pathetic bull shit stories about me.  Mr. BooHoo broke boundaries that can never be repaired.

He told me a lot of hurtful things my ex said about me, not as a friend, but to torture me as much as he could.  He did it to hurt and humiliate me.  Then he demanded to know if it was all true.  It’s a disgrace when friends betray you and repeat what you talked about in confidence.  It was an attack on my pride and my self-esteem.  The two of them deserve each other.

Mr. BooHoo is known for backstabbing women in the forums. I know I’m not the first one and I won’t be the last. I was warned about him by a lot of women who’ve had similar experiences with him.  Women told me not to trust him, but until I saw it for myself I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I’ll be sure to let those ladies know they were right about him.

I told Mr. BooHoo to have his fun while he can because Karma is a bitch.  The first thing I did was block him as a friend on the dating site to stop the emails.  Then I blocked him on my Facebook page.   I blocked his phone number so he can’t call or text me.  Keeping him at a distance will speak volumes about how I feel.

I’ve got more important things to focus on than his drama.  If he’s still really angry and depressed about this he can always call my ex and cry on his shoulder again.   I’ll give him the phone number if he wants it.  Pass the tissues because he’s going to need them.

How would you feel if this happened to you?  How would you deal with it?  What would you do?



About Karmic Diva

I'm a song in the key of life, a work in progress, a diamond in the rough. I write, scribble, babble and doodle endlessly. I'm here to love and learn. -Karmic Diva-

Posted on May 13, 2012, in Dating & Sex, Relationships, Stalkers, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. well, I am not real trusting and don’t do dating sites. Perhaps the best way is to continue what you have already done and then let go of it. It is the past and give it to the light. Take it as a lesson learned and be grateful you found out before you had invested years of your life in him.

  2. Wow! What a freaking Diva!!

  3. I think you did the right thing in distancing yourself from him. It would be easy to sink down and engage in a verbal war that no one “wins” and all it accomplishes is leaving all involved pretty scarred up. Best thing to do is cut ties and walk away.

  4. I think blocking him totally, and moving on is the best approach. You can’t beat crazy.

  5. One would imagine that people grow up a little after they’ve left school and are part of ‘the real world’. It disappoints me (for you!) that this guy is acting in such a low, horrid fashion. As for taking the advice of others, this Neil Finn lyric says a lot: “Experience is cheap, I should have listened to the warning.” Nevertheless, sometimes you’ve gotta find out what people are really like for yourself…

    Onwards and upwards, Karmic Diva – what’s for you won’t go by you! 🙂

  6. I was addicted to a dating site. There is an online phenomenon that psychologist recognize. I was always meeting online and sending pictures and forming an image of what I wanted them to be. When I met them I saw who they really were and it was always a surprise and almost always negative.
    I finally tried something called “speed dating,” It is where I got to meet 100 women for 3 minutes at a time. I got a good idea of chemistry and who they were up close. That is how I met my ex-wife. One session cost me 40 dollars but it was as good at 3 years of typing back and forth on a dating service.
    It was a lot of fun. I recommend it to anyone.It was worth the money,Plus there was a buffet and drinks.

  7. Wow, I’m so speechless just reading this ticks me off. Sorry you had to go through this, but I know deep down it was somehting you had to experience. God Bless 🙂

  8. your writing is fine and I liked very much…sincerely, Walter

  9. Isn’t it infuriating how someone can just haphazardly try to ruin your life….I hope Karma happens sooner rather than later.

  10. Painful experience to be had, but it’s one of those things that will never leave you. It’s happened several times to me, and the best course of action is to continue on and make the backstabbing parties look like a bunch of tittering 4th graders.
    As far as this situation – how I would feel, handle, and do about it? Probably the same way you are… Feeding into bullshit empowers the bullshitters and lowers you to their level,

    • I had the chance to send some Karma back to him when he came in the forum and made a stupid comment about me. Revenge has never felt so good. I had my own backstabbing party and he was the guest of honor. He hasn’t bothered me since. Sometimes you have to sink to their level and give it right back to them to let them know there are consequences for inflicting pain on someone. Public humiliation was a good dose of Karma and well deserved. I believe I have even new lows to sink to if he starts with me again.

  11. Haha….ok, I can see your point.

  12. Wow, you’re right. The two of them deserve each other. Glad you’ve gotten them out of your life!

  13. I can understand how it felt. Stay away from those two. I normally stay away from any direct communications from strangers. Sometime you never know, some people whom you thot you can trust, could just do the unthinkable.

    Take care Karm~let’s Karma takes it’s place!

  14. I don’t know which of the two is more despicable. I have to say it was my ex for not telling Mr. BooHoo to get lost and saying what happened between us is none of his business. He never could man up.

  15. I would use it as a learning experience and move in. Take stock and evaluate what went right or wrong and what your behavior added to it, then move on without emotion.

    Anytime spent thinking about them either one of them is giving them power in your mind.

    how they behave is not your concern. You are tasked with so many breaths on this earth. Wasting time thinking about this past event steals your breaths.

    We have this moment then the next,until we leave this planet. As long as you judge things people situations then you own them and have to defend them.

    Free yourself and work on you for a while. The longer you entertain thoughts about them you lose. Ignore them and give them no energy outwardly but especially in your head.

    move on they are losers and what awaits you ahead will be missed. We have a choice of moving forward free of attaché,nts or we live innthe past and suffer.

    Think you being happy and not caring about them would be the best you could do for you. let them live in the past and involve themselves in this negativity. They own it, the best you can do is laugh at them and give them not ine single breath of interest.

    Good luck. The choice to live be free and move in is calling.

    • Truly amazing advice.My anger keeps me connected. I never thought about it that way. thanks

      • Wow Karma what a great response. It is awareness that all of a sudden a light goes off. we all have been there.

        It is a disorder not a life sentence. You can be perfect with no doubt or worry to erect walls of containment.

        We are healed inside already, the mind and body need to know it.

        You are in your way. Be aware. Awareness to each wandering thought activates trauma and makes it stronger. Staying here with focus on the breath unplugs some the charge. Daily mental action cracks trauma. Keep applying daily pressure and it will snap

      • If I may, anger does not have to be involved however it is many times. Actually the judgment gives us ownership.

        That means we take it with us, depend it if challenged. On my journey I learned that emotions, thoughts and feelings are like air sometimes.

        Wake up feeling depressed you have a choice. Accept this as fact. I did not know we had a choice so my acceptance came from lack of understanding.

        The other option is to acknowledge the depressed feeling, ride the breathing track for five minutes. Settle in toma slow pace and let go of the story and feel the body sensations. Now, smile and be present empty of wandering thought.

        The mind can perform miracles when focused and empty of chatter.

  16. loving is a sweet performatic honest free path…I’ve read your posts and your writings is lively and so sweet!…love is some miracle. Walter

  17. love is improvisation…freedom…joy…warm regards for your presence and comments…love is a rebellious one. All the best. Walter

  18. but I don’t know what is love…..I feel this way

  19. URGH! I hate when people do that kind of crap. I have dealt with that a lot with my sisters. You think you are sharing feelings, trying to sort through emotions, and they turn it to nasty gossip and then try to turn it back on you… I used to do my best to talk everyone off the ledge, sort everything out, make nice with everyone, and now I just block them, and move on.

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