First Date Nightmares

The world of dating can be a nightmare at times.

When I meet a new guy for the first time I never know what I’m going to experience.

I don’t know much about him, but the curiosity and attraction is there and I want to  meet him.

Where my imagination takes  me when I’m with him is part of the excitement of a first date.

I like to compare the first date to a movie genre.

Will it be a drama, adventure, comedy, thriller, a silent film, romance or X-rated film?

Will it be a short date, full-length or a serial date with more episodes to come?

What kind of first impression will he make on the first date?   What will I learn about him?

The Drama Date: He’s conflicted with himself and describes his life with tales of woe.

The Adventure Date:  He’s a thrill seeker, loves dangerous situations, or enjoys the role of the hero or rescuer.

The Comedy Date:  He looks at life with humor and makes you laugh a lot.

The Thriller Date: He has a dark past or seeks out twisted relationships.

The Silent Film Date:  He has limited conversation and social skills, or he ignores you.

The Romance Date:  He’s flirtatious, romantic and shows he appreciates being with you.

The X-rated Date:  He engages in graphic sex talk or makes unambiguous remarks about his sexual practices.

None of these types of dates are necessarily bad. It all depends on the type of man a woman is attracted to.  Some women might perceive some of these dates are red flags, while others would dive in head first.

I met someone new last week.  I call him the Mayor and it seems to fit him well.  I think our first date was a lot of fun and I left feeling like I wanted to see him again.   It’s impossible to fit that date into one movie category.  A mature, educated, intelligent man with a strong personality and keen sense of who he is always intrigues me.

Then there are the bad boys.  Bad boys are often perceived by women as being sexually open and exciting.  They’re dripping with testosterone.  When I get close to a bad boy I can almost smell it…it’s like an aphrodisiac. For a woman who loves to experience uncharted territory and excitement in their sex life,  a bad boy might be their first choice.

There are women who have a burning desire to tame a wild horse but the price is too high for me.  When I meet a man who isn’t  trained, tamed, shamed or restrained, they’re tempting  but I know they can’t stay the course.  What works for them doesn’t work for me and they’re not going to change their wandering ways.  For a good time I’ll take the bad boy, but when it comes to love, attachment and commitment, bad boys finish last.

I’m not a dating expert and I’m not qualified to give dating advice.  I’m just sharing my thoughts and trying to make sense of it all.  I lost count of all the first dates I’ve had.  Maybe you can relate to some of my experiences.

The Mayor and I have had a few late night conversations since we met.  We both think we can be great friends.  We can talk honestly about everything as friends, but becoming lovers might make it difficult to be completely open and honest with each other.  The big question we’re asking is, does sex ruin a friendship?

I really want to know what your opinion is about this.  Does sex ruin a friendship?


About Karmic Diva

I'm a song in the key of life, a work in progress, a diamond in the rough. I write, scribble, babble and doodle endlessly. I'm here to love and learn. -Karmic Diva-

Posted on June 9, 2012, in Dating & Sex, Relationships, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Good luck with your date! As for the poll if sex ruins friendship, that depends on many things. But it’s impossible to have both at the same time/ speaking from experience :)/

  2. Oooops, I meant it’s POSSIBLE!

  3. Awesome post. Fab writing and loved the movie genre comparisons! Ace! You’re in top form, Karm! 🙂

  4. First dates. I get so few of those it’s ridiculous. I think I’d like having a relationship that started as friendship, but I wouldn’t sleep with him initially. I’m way too cautious for that.

  5. Hummm…I always like the bad boys. I’ve had sex that didn’t ruin the friendship. I guess it depends on the emotional relationship you have with that friend.

  6. It has been many years since I dated, and I hope many more before I have to.
    can’t you influence it into the direction you wish it to go?

  7. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever voted and been in the majority! lol

  8. Hmm … I don’t think there is a definitive answer. Sex can ruin a friendship… others might survive very well. It depends on the unique dynamics of the relationship to begin with.

    It sounds like in the case of the Mayor that there is a sexual tension in existence between you… and that can definitely be a bar to real friendship. The passion of romantic attraction coupled with sex makes true friendship difficult because the intense feelings of the former interfere… Couples can be come friends after the first intense phase and some friends can become casual lovers but only if the ‘romantic’ dimension is relatively casual to begin with.

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