Musings -Trust-

I read a great line this morning by Michael at Have a Dream.

“trust is like a bank account…invest often and withdraw wisely”

I use the word “trust” all the time but never think about its deeper meaning.  It’s a word that can elicit elation or fear, depending on my attitude toward trust.  When I trust a person I open myself up to the possibility of being emotionally hurt.  Of course, there’s an element of risk with any emotional investment.  Trust builds slowly over time, allowing me the chance to nurture my faith in a person and grow as a human being.

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” – Walter Anderson

Trust is the first step toward love and joy.

  • How is it possible to form a friendship or relationship without trust?
  • If you lack confidence in a person’s character, how is it possible to love them?
  • What makes another  person trustworthy?

Trust can be risky.

  • Does trusting a person guarantee they will value and protect your trust?
  • Is it possible to trust someone too much or too little?
  • If trust is lost or betrayed, can trust be regained?
“When my love swears that she is made of truth I do believe her, though I know she lies”   –  Shakespeare

Please share your self-reflections. I would love to know your thoughts.

It pays to be fearless. Love to you all…Karm


About Karmic Diva

I'm a song in the key of life, a work in progress, a diamond in the rough. I write, scribble, babble and doodle endlessly. I'm here to love and learn. -Karmic Diva-

Posted on June 14, 2012, in Dating & Sex, Relationships, Spiritual, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.

  1. I think a useful distinction for me to make is that love and trust do not have to be necessarily connected. That is, if I love someone, it does not mean that they are necessarily trustworthy. I can love them with no reliance or expectation; in fact, that is what love means to many people. Without expectation or reliance, I suddenly no longer need to “trust” them in the sense that I need to “predict” them or their actions in order to avoid being hurt.
    When we are easily hurt by another, and then say that we cease to “love” that person, the situation becomes inherently muddy. Where does love end and trust begin? Where does our own responsibility for our feelings end, and the responsibility of another for our feelings begin? In actuality, I think we can always be responsible for how we feel, even if we are not quite ready to fully wake up to that challenge.
    Your post helped me to see that trust is essential to have, at all moments, no matter what. The loss of trust is almost imaginary; it simply means that we predicted something incorrectly. We can always harness the truth of the moment, which is the only truth, since past and future do not really exist in the same way; in some schools of thought.
    I guess I can’t even really explain where your post brought me in my head…but it is a wonderful place, so thank you, for helping me see that the only thing I need to trust is the present moment itself because people are inherently un-freaking-predictable. Namaste.

    • Thank you for reading and commenting. I love the way you think. No one is totally predictable. The element of surprise in unpredictability can reveal many things about a person. I assume a lot, but as I get to know a person the truth about them becomes reality. I don’t think responsibility for our own feelings ever ends. It is our power, our truth.

  2. Trust is very important in any relationship. Great write.

  3. I think so too. Thanks for your comment.

  4. Ooh, if trust is damaged, can it be regained? What a question… I find it difficult to trust people fully sometimes. And I do think that trust can be hard to regain but that’s partly down to my own insecurities… Another thought provoking and really well written post, Karm. 🙂

    • When my trust is violated with lying, cheating, or repeating things said in confidence I”m unforgiving. The hurt reaches my core and destroys my respect for them. I have many acquaintances and a few close friends. My friends value my trust and I can trust them with my darkest secrets. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      • It is an extremely hard thing to overcome, isn’t it? I find it remarkably hard to just move on from something… I really am like the proverbial dog with its bone… Hmm.

        It’s good to share these things. 🙂

  5. Trust is crucial if a relationship is to survive, however, I do not trust easily, most people have to earn my trust and if they betray that trust it’s even harder to get it back. Great post and definitely a tough subject requiring more thought.

    • I agree. Without trust what emotional value does a relationship have? For me, very little. In order to break down my wall a person needs to prove they’re trustworthy and that takes time. Thanks for reading and sharing. Great response.

  6. I’m extremely selective with my trust, to the point of being closed off. I open up to few people, but it is true that if you don’t trust someone you can’t love.

    • I think it’s good to be selective. Not everyone is worthy of our trust. As women we open up with our writing and share a lot about ourselves. It’s empowering to express ourselves. The only trust needed is the trust we have in ourselves. Thanks for sharing and commenting.

  7. Hey wow! Ive nominated you for the ‘One Lovely Blog’ award! Check out the link and congrats!

  8. H., I know what you mean, GF….sigh…I, too, opened my heart up & fell hard for you know who….I know he loves me, but not enough to share whatever he keeps to himself…He’ll die a lonely man some day because of it…But I still love him!!! GRRR!!!! Love truly hurts & it makes it harder to trust again…Hugs to you, my dear friend!

    • I try not to hold onto the pain of the past. The past is full of mistakes but I also did a lot of things right. My last love was someone who I trusted in spite of red flags and hesitation and I paid a big price. Then that crusty old marine did even more damage to my trust. I’m shut down to trusting right now.

  9. Love that first quote. What a thoughtful post. I think in order to trust others we must always first trust ourselves. Without this foundation, most relationships can be tricky.

  10. There are many people I love, but I don’t necessarily trust them … at least in some areas of life. I know who I can depend on to tell me the truth – no matter what. I know who will be there for me if I’m in trouble or pain. I know who will betry me if given the chance – I love, I don’t judge – and I don’t dwell. Some people I just have to keep at arms length. I know I can depend on me … and that’s important too.

  11. “une bonne confiance en soi permet de s’ouvrir à d’autres modèles du monde en toute sécurité”
    it means that a good self confidence help us to be open to the world safely ! i like this quote because i really think we need to trust life , it’s to me the better way to attract beautiful surprises ! and i love that! have a nice day ….belle journée !!!!

    • I love that quote too and it’s so true. At some point in life we have to trust ourselves and have confidence that no matter what happens, all is well. Thank you for commenting and inspiring.

  12. I think it is possible to love someone who misused your trust. Another thing about love is forgiveness, so if you love someone then trust should be able to be regained.

    • a beautiful response…It would be difficult for me to trust again but it may be possible.

      • I also agree that there are times when trust might be regained, BUT putting your heart out there again, taking a chance on it being crushed once again & by the same person when you TOTALLY trusted them????…Hmmmm…I think I’d have a hard time doing that, GF…JMHO….Hugs!

      • We know how it feels to be betrayed by love. They’re simply not worth the resurrection of trust in some cases.

  13. So feeling this post right now, makes me think of the poem I wrote call Trust, you have to have trust to have any kind of relationship. Once its gone can it be regain? Now thats a question for someone. It depends on the statemind the people or in. Love truly makes us secondthink yourself.

    I do hope all is well on your end! God Bless 🙂

    • Blessings to you. Thanks for your comment. A betrayal of trust can be damaging, but to what depth is the question. It’s important to be true to myself and not let such things be destructive to my self-esteem.

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