Blog Archives

30 Women in 30 Days – Day 18 (I think)

Holidays are crazy at my house and it can be exhausting.  There’s so much cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping and decorating to do. I’m posting this as a reminder for me as much as for you.

Don’t forget to take time out for yourself.

Sending hugs to you!

Advertisements

30 Women in 30 Days – Day 12

Today’s post is honoring the women who have been targets of domestic violence, stalking or any type of sexual, physical, emotional, economic or psychological abuse.

Whether a woman has witnessed it in the street, had a friend or relative in an abusive relationship or was in one herself, I believe we’ve probably all witnessed violence against women at some level.

Women are victimized by intimate partners, social acquaintances and friends, family members and even strangers.  It’s not unusual for violence or abuse to cause long term trauma related health effects.  Healing is their mission.

Violence against a woman is a violation of her human rights.

The Race

Attitude and spirit

Worn down by years

But never broken

From a wild mare

To a racing stallion

Tamed with time

From a gifted sprinter

To a gracious trotter

Always a champion

From hurdles and strides

To a peaceful pacer

Never stumbling or trite

In the race against time

Giggles

It’s been awhile since I’ve checked in with something interesting to talk about. It’s not because I was having a torrid love affair with an undiscovered love child of Virginia Wolfe and Kurt Vonnegut.  I wasn’t on a world tour interviewing infamous sodoku fans for my next terminally unpublished novel.  I don’t even have a decent naked butt shot to show you that my time away was fabulous.  I wasn’t on Kyle Mew’s list of people to do during his recent visit to the U.S.  I guess he didn’t get to Boston (sigh).

Now that I’ve told you all the fun stuff I didn’t do on my summer break…

Between being a beach bum and getting new art projects ready for a big show next month I’ve been very busy.  I took time off to photograph and paint landscapes outdoors, read a few good books and just relax in a beach chair by the ocean.  I had so many enlightening conversations with imaginary friends, which I’ll save for another time.  Perhaps I can tell you a few stories about the guys I’m dating.  A couple of epiphanies might also be worth sharing.

Summer doesn’t last long here in the northeast. It would have been such a waste to spend the whole summer on my computer. I’ve been reading a lot of your posts to keep up with the news. I follow some really great inspiring writers so I’m glad to be back.

Ciao…Karm

Back Stabbers

I met Mr. BooHoo on a dating site several months ago and we became friends. We never met in person but had many phone conversations, and emailed each other daily.   We shared a lot of very personal things about ourselves and got to know each other well, despite the fact we were not romantically involved.

When I was dealing with a breakup I confided in him about the relationship.  Mr. BooHoo never liked my ex and was always very supportive and empathetic.  He called me every morning to see if I was doing alright.  They weren’t friends and never talked so I trusted him not to repeat anything I said.

Two months ago Mr. BooHoo and I had a disagreement over what I thought was a minor misunderstanding.  He was very upset and left the dating site… we didn’t talk or email again.

A week ago he came back to the dating site and began sending me rude, nasty emails.  Apparently, the disagreement made him so angry that he wanted to get revenge.  He contacted my ex to talk about me.

I couldn’t imagine him going to my ex and telling him things we talked about, but that’s exactly what he did.   My ex never liked him either but apparently had no problem sharing his own dirty secrets about me.  I guess that’s what you call male bonding.

I was stunned and then furious when he told me what he had done.  Now I was in his line of fire and he was unloading his barrel on me.   This time it was a double barrel of his bull shit and my ex’s pathetic bull shit stories about me.  Mr. BooHoo broke boundaries that can never be repaired.

He told me a lot of hurtful things my ex said about me, not as a friend, but to torture me as much as he could.  He did it to hurt and humiliate me.  Then he demanded to know if it was all true.  It’s a disgrace when friends betray you and repeat what you talked about in confidence.  It was an attack on my pride and my self-esteem.  The two of them deserve each other.

Mr. BooHoo is known for backstabbing women in the forums. I know I’m not the first one and I won’t be the last. I was warned about him by a lot of women who’ve had similar experiences with him.  Women told me not to trust him, but until I saw it for myself I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I’ll be sure to let those ladies know they were right about him.

I told Mr. BooHoo to have his fun while he can because Karma is a bitch.  The first thing I did was block him as a friend on the dating site to stop the emails.  Then I blocked him on my Facebook page.   I blocked his phone number so he can’t call or text me.  Keeping him at a distance will speak volumes about how I feel.

I’ve got more important things to focus on than his drama.  If he’s still really angry and depressed about this he can always call my ex and cry on his shoulder again.   I’ll give him the phone number if he wants it.  Pass the tissues because he’s going to need them.

How would you feel if this happened to you?  How would you deal with it?  What would you do?

Hoo-Rah!

Compassion

“Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed.” – The Buddha

Compassion is defined as “deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.”

There are so many people in the world with broken hearts, broken dreams and broken wings.

Perhaps we know someone who has lost a child, has been the victim of a violent crime, has lost their home and possessions in a fire or natural disaster  or has a loved one fighting cancer.

We empathize with their suffering.  We understand their suffering.  We imagine the pain they’re going through.

I doubt there’s anyone who hasn’t felt sadness, loneliness and despair for themselves and others. There’s a good chance we will all suffer through trauma, loss or hopelessness in our lifetime.

Compassion takes it a step further where we want to relieve their suffering.  We open our hearts to the person and want to do something to ease their pain.  Compassion is the willingness to help others in need.  Compassion is action.

It’s easy for me to be compassionate toward people who treat me well.  It’s a lot more difficult to be compassionate with someone who has hurt me.  It’s truly a sign of growth when I reach that turning point and can be willing to help them.

So many have helped me find hope at times.  I can honestly say that not everyone who has helped me has been my friend, or has even known or liked me.

There are good people in the world who can set aside their differences and resentments to help someone in need.  I admire them and learn from them.

Compassion can expand a person’s experience in the world in a positive way…rescuing an animal, feeding the hungry, listening to the despair of another human being, a smile for the lonely,  assisting the elderly.  The possibilities are endless.

What Makes You Beautiful

Good morning ladies and gents. It’s great to wake up feeling truly alive and free.  My day started with beautiful messages of inspiration and love from my sweet friends.  These ladies have such a positive message of joy and hope that I want to share it.

My life has been affected  by them in profound ways through both the good times and bad.  Through them I am learning how to close the door on the past, and how to open my heart to new beginnings.

They too have chosen men who aren’t the best for them.  We have all sought after men who are too good to be true.  Now a man with a heart of gold will do. It’s not my job to fix every broken wing that crosses my path…I can only fix me.

JT wrote, “Karm it’s awesome to know that we as women do not get our self respect from men. It is something that we are born with, and we continue to grow with all our lives. Sometimes there are situations with relationships with men where they feel they have to strip us of our self-esteem, our self-assurance and confidence. These men are abusers just as if they had slapped us across the face the; pain of any type of abuse is so destructive.  I can tell that you have come through a lot Karm. YOU’RE a survivor…I for one am proud to be your friend.”

Take the time to learn what makes you beautiful and you will find more beauty inside you than you ever imagined.  Once you find it…celebrate it.  It pays to be fearless. Love to all…Karm

JN wrote, “Don’t ever forget what makes you beautiful”  and posted this song.