Blog Archives

30 Women in 30 Days – Day 12

Today’s post is honoring the women who have been targets of domestic violence, stalking or any type of sexual, physical, emotional, economic or psychological abuse.

Whether a woman has witnessed it in the street, had a friend or relative in an abusive relationship or was in one herself, I believe we’ve probably all witnessed violence against women at some level.

Women are victimized by intimate partners, social acquaintances and friends, family members and even strangers.  It’s not unusual for violence or abuse to cause long term trauma related health effects.  Healing is their mission.

Violence against a woman is a violation of her human rights.

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A Cockroach or a Prince?

There’s a big difference between someone who is a nice guy and someone who tries to convince you he’s a nice guy.

When we’re dating and looking for true love we all want to find a nice guy, but do we really know what the differences are between a cockroach and a prince?

You can’t assume he’s a nice guy because he looks good, has a great body, nice eyes, a beautiful smile, a good job, an education, is charming, makes you laugh and/or says everything you want to hear.  He might look like a good catch on the outside but could still be a cockroach on the inside.

Here are 10 nice guy attributes to look for in the guy you’re dating or in a relationship with.

1. Nice guys aren’t broken; you don’t need to spend a lot of energy trying to fix him.

2. Nice guys give compliments, not criticism; you don’t feel bad about yourself when you’re with him.

3. Nice guys are  honest, not deceitful; you don’t worry about where you stand with him.

4. Nice guys are devoted to you, not attached to someone else (not married or still hung up on someone in their past); you don’t have to be his therapist or hear him vent about his feelings for someone else.

5. Nice guys are empathetic and caring; you don’t have to feel confused and insecure because he flip-flops between hot and cold.

6. Nice guys value their time with you; you don’t have to worry about why he’s not calling or making plans with you.

7. Nice guys take you out;  you don’t have to feel like a booty call or on-call vagina.

8. Nice guys make you a priority; you don’t have to feel like you’re last on his list of people to see.

9.  Nice guys acknowledge your feelings and needs; you don’t have to worry about giving in to his unreasonable demands and expectations.

10. Nice guys like you just the way you are; you don’t have to worry about not being good or special enough for him.

Now take a look at how you feel about yourself when you’re with him.  If you feel like an option, a disappointment, a booty call or a therapist with him chances are he’s not such a nice guy after all.  

If you have a personal story please share your thoughts and experiences.

First Date Nightmares

The world of dating can be a nightmare at times.

When I meet a new guy for the first time I never know what I’m going to experience.

I don’t know much about him, but the curiosity and attraction is there and I want to  meet him.

Where my imagination takes  me when I’m with him is part of the excitement of a first date.

I like to compare the first date to a movie genre.

Will it be a drama, adventure, comedy, thriller, a silent film, romance or X-rated film?

Will it be a short date, full-length or a serial date with more episodes to come?

What kind of first impression will he make on the first date?   What will I learn about him?

The Drama Date: He’s conflicted with himself and describes his life with tales of woe.

The Adventure Date:  He’s a thrill seeker, loves dangerous situations, or enjoys the role of the hero or rescuer.

The Comedy Date:  He looks at life with humor and makes you laugh a lot.

The Thriller Date: He has a dark past or seeks out twisted relationships.

The Silent Film Date:  He has limited conversation and social skills, or he ignores you.

The Romance Date:  He’s flirtatious, romantic and shows he appreciates being with you.

The X-rated Date:  He engages in graphic sex talk or makes unambiguous remarks about his sexual practices.

None of these types of dates are necessarily bad. It all depends on the type of man a woman is attracted to.  Some women might perceive some of these dates are red flags, while others would dive in head first.

I met someone new last week.  I call him the Mayor and it seems to fit him well.  I think our first date was a lot of fun and I left feeling like I wanted to see him again.   It’s impossible to fit that date into one movie category.  A mature, educated, intelligent man with a strong personality and keen sense of who he is always intrigues me.

Then there are the bad boys.  Bad boys are often perceived by women as being sexually open and exciting.  They’re dripping with testosterone.  When I get close to a bad boy I can almost smell it…it’s like an aphrodisiac. For a woman who loves to experience uncharted territory and excitement in their sex life,  a bad boy might be their first choice.

There are women who have a burning desire to tame a wild horse but the price is too high for me.  When I meet a man who isn’t  trained, tamed, shamed or restrained, they’re tempting  but I know they can’t stay the course.  What works for them doesn’t work for me and they’re not going to change their wandering ways.  For a good time I’ll take the bad boy, but when it comes to love, attachment and commitment, bad boys finish last.

I’m not a dating expert and I’m not qualified to give dating advice.  I’m just sharing my thoughts and trying to make sense of it all.  I lost count of all the first dates I’ve had.  Maybe you can relate to some of my experiences.

The Mayor and I have had a few late night conversations since we met.  We both think we can be great friends.  We can talk honestly about everything as friends, but becoming lovers might make it difficult to be completely open and honest with each other.  The big question we’re asking is, does sex ruin a friendship?

I really want to know what your opinion is about this.  Does sex ruin a friendship?

Unsuitable Suitors

This weekend  was pure entertainment on the dating site.  A few emails from not so suitable suitors had me laughing my butt off.  I wouldn’t give up this strange and enlightening world of online dating., even if I meet “the one.”  I’m there for the drama and I’m seldom disappointed.  This is what crawled into my inbox this weekend.

 “I need pussy.” – hankypanky13

“I eat pussy and dont have no shame to say it. Now ill pay 250 if u let me eat yours” –  thicknrich

“I just made a Peanut Butter and Potato Chip Pizza…..it is freaking EPIC. I would love to cook for you.”  – hardslammer

“u cute as hell. u know how to ride a dick or give head?” – blacksac

“Hit me up cute sweet girl looking to kick it” –  metalmonkey

“Nice guy-pick me” –  bemybabegrl

“Am big but don’t worry- – I’ll be gentle” –  creamonme

“Well I’m not goiong to lie I just sepreated from My wife(5/23/12). I have been married for 5 years. It’s up to you to decide weather or not i’m am right for You, or not. I just would like the chance to meet you and tell you about myself, my life and where it is going and what I expect from Myself and My future.” – truckmanron

:I am a divorced, fit, fun, intelligent, romantic, successful, and fun loving man. Lean, clean, not mean, and have a clear conscience. You should contact me if you are a happy and positive person that wants to enjoy life. Are you dizzy yet?” –  onlywantstolove

“I am new on here searching for that woman with whom i can develop a serious relationship from a friendship stage into something serious someday, I think I’m not mistakenly, taking this bold step to write you,well i believed that love could be found anywhere in the world. As far as friendship, trust and commitment can be kept, My name is Johnson, I’m presently working with the United Nation affiliated with US Army in Afghanistan as a detective agent, i investigate crime and i also work as a secret agent, Can you tell me little about your self? Will stop here and will be waiting to hear from you soon..i want you to know am not always on here but I will like to read back from you if you are interested thanks.” –  texascowboy7

HUH?  Wake up guys. If you’re ever going to get laid you have to do a lot better than that.  I might be horny but I’m not stupid.  The odds of hitting your target go up dramatically when you aim at it.   These guys all have one thing in common…bad aim.   Am I on the dating site from hell?

Your best friend on any dating site is your delete button.  Ready, aim, fire!  

LMSSSKDAO
(laughing my sweet silly sexy karmic diva ass off)

It pays to be fearless.  Love to all…Karm

My Big Day

This is a big day for me ladies and gents!

Anwar at Her Favorite Juice is the first fellow blogger to invite me to be a guest blogger.  I was really flattered to be invited and wanted to write something his readers could relate to. There was nothing daunting about it.  It was a lot of fun.  I’m still a rookie at dating but I know men and that’s one thing I can think about and write about for hours. I hope you stop by to read it.  Enjoy!

Guest Blog – Spontaneous Com-Nection

WoooooHoooooo!!!

To all 100 bloggers who are are following me now…

Applause and cheers to you all for making me feel welcome here. Thanks for all the inspiration, insight and humor you share.


It pays to be fearless.  Love to you all…Karm

Back Stabbers

I met Mr. BooHoo on a dating site several months ago and we became friends. We never met in person but had many phone conversations, and emailed each other daily.   We shared a lot of very personal things about ourselves and got to know each other well, despite the fact we were not romantically involved.

When I was dealing with a breakup I confided in him about the relationship.  Mr. BooHoo never liked my ex and was always very supportive and empathetic.  He called me every morning to see if I was doing alright.  They weren’t friends and never talked so I trusted him not to repeat anything I said.

Two months ago Mr. BooHoo and I had a disagreement over what I thought was a minor misunderstanding.  He was very upset and left the dating site… we didn’t talk or email again.

A week ago he came back to the dating site and began sending me rude, nasty emails.  Apparently, the disagreement made him so angry that he wanted to get revenge.  He contacted my ex to talk about me.

I couldn’t imagine him going to my ex and telling him things we talked about, but that’s exactly what he did.   My ex never liked him either but apparently had no problem sharing his own dirty secrets about me.  I guess that’s what you call male bonding.

I was stunned and then furious when he told me what he had done.  Now I was in his line of fire and he was unloading his barrel on me.   This time it was a double barrel of his bull shit and my ex’s pathetic bull shit stories about me.  Mr. BooHoo broke boundaries that can never be repaired.

He told me a lot of hurtful things my ex said about me, not as a friend, but to torture me as much as he could.  He did it to hurt and humiliate me.  Then he demanded to know if it was all true.  It’s a disgrace when friends betray you and repeat what you talked about in confidence.  It was an attack on my pride and my self-esteem.  The two of them deserve each other.

Mr. BooHoo is known for backstabbing women in the forums. I know I’m not the first one and I won’t be the last. I was warned about him by a lot of women who’ve had similar experiences with him.  Women told me not to trust him, but until I saw it for myself I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I’ll be sure to let those ladies know they were right about him.

I told Mr. BooHoo to have his fun while he can because Karma is a bitch.  The first thing I did was block him as a friend on the dating site to stop the emails.  Then I blocked him on my Facebook page.   I blocked his phone number so he can’t call or text me.  Keeping him at a distance will speak volumes about how I feel.

I’ve got more important things to focus on than his drama.  If he’s still really angry and depressed about this he can always call my ex and cry on his shoulder again.   I’ll give him the phone number if he wants it.  Pass the tissues because he’s going to need them.

How would you feel if this happened to you?  How would you deal with it?  What would you do?

Hoo-Rah!

Mean Girls #2

Sunday wasn’t a typical day on the forums. A young woman dealing with HIV and drug addiction posted a disturbing message.  She claimed she was going to kill herself with a bottle of Xanax and vodka.  Her post went into detail about her desperation for acceptance and support from her family, who has turned their back on her.

She also posted about a woman on the site who has been bullying her in the forums and how hopeless she felt because of it.  She was coming to the site for friendship and emotional support and was met with humiliation and degradation more than once.

Fortunately one of her friends on the site had her phone number and contacted the local police in her town. The police found her address and they responded. She was found in time before she hurt herself. I have no doubt she was in an emotional crisis and if she hadn’t reached out for help she may have acted on her impulse to die.

The bully is one of the “heartless duo” (AKA Snake and Fake). I mentioned them in my earlier post Mean Girls #1.  They stalk their prey together and then gang bang bully their victim.  Snake is a ruthless 50 year old hag who prowls through the forums begging for attention.  Fake is a bully in her late 50’s who desperately seeks approval.

Snake and Fake are a team but Snake is clearly the instigator.  Fake follows her around the forums and adds her hateful, vicious comments to the posts that Snake targets.  It’s obvious that they’re both damaged and neither has control over their need to belittle other women.

I hope the woman in crisis gets the professional help she needs. Her life is hard and dismal. The last thing she needs is to come to the forums and be bullied.  Snake showed no remorse and took no responsibility for what happened with that woman.  The next day she was doing the same thing to someone else.

Cyber stalkers are cowards whose written words are poison to the minds and emotions of the victims they choose.

The rises of female bullies

This is a great article posted by MyDestiny2011 on the topic of cyber stalking by women. If you have a personal story to share please let me know.

MyDestiny2011

There are many reasons why women opt to turn into female Hydes, but seemingly Malaysian women bullies are who they are because society made them so.

THERE have always been bullies, but the increase in adult “mean girls” (the namesake film and Gossip Girls popularised the misdeeds and misbehaviour of female bullies) which, if before it existed only in social circles, has spilled over into the workplace, and almost every sphere of life.

It is an incredibly painful experience to have, or to observe. Because of the equality agenda, women have decided to be hostile and aggressive, and vent their insecurities on their victims. And because women are taught not to complain, and be good, the victims keep silent or choose to ignore the bullies.

Who are these women who heap abuse on other women … and men as well? If you’re to meet them, you’d be floored by their…

View original post 688 more words

Mean Girls #1

Based on my own experience of being the victim of cyber stalking, I’m going to share the stories of women who have been harmed online by female predators. This is the first of a series of posts dedicated to bringing awareness to the problem.

It’s difficult for me to imagine women victimizing other women. I’ve always had the opinion that women should be treated with dignity and respect. If that’s not possible it’s better to just walk away and not cause any harm.

Women are often subjected to harsh criticism at home, in the workplace and in social situations. The internet has now become a stalker’s paradise. Female predators are using websites, email, chat rooms and public blogs and forums to stalk and bully their victims.

Meet My Stalkers…

I have six cyber stalkers at the present time….all six are female predators.

I’ve been blogging with a group of men and women on a public forum for a few months.  Many of the people I interact with have become personal friends.

Over the past four months it’s become increasingly ugly with a group of cyber stalkers  whose only interest is to humiliate and victimize other women.   Many of us have been repeatedly targeted, bullied and stalked by these women on the site.

These stalkers are adult women in ages ranging from their 40’s to 60’s.  They gang up on their victim, sometimes two to four perpetrators working together at the same time.

They write a blog for the purpose of making a person the subject of ridicule and then they all post to it.  They feed off each other and the posting goes on for several hours. They also instigate others to join in and post demeaning comments aimed at humiliating and bullying their target.

These women have never met me or talked to me outside of the dating site, and know nothing about me firsthand.  They have no vested interest in a friendship with me. Yet they don’t hesitate to publicly criticize, bully and embarrass me on a regular basis.

They rely on gossip or personal opinions to come up with embarrassing comments.  These six women constantly engage in deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior that is intended to emotionally harm the women they target.

Who are these mean girls? I call them the Vampire Twins, the Madams and the Heartless Duo. More about them at another time. For now, I hope I have piqued your interest on the topic. Stay tuned for more.

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” – Unknown

It pays to be fearless.

What is Love?

What is love?

Love is a beautiful feeling that changes everything when touched by it.

It feels different to breath, to live, to believe when love comes along.

Whether it lasts a moment or a lifetime it is unforgettable.

Sometimes love passes through like a storm, leaving a flood of tears in its wake.

Other times love can pass through like a gentle breeze that can stand the test of time.

Love isn’t a game to fear. It is the heart saying it is alive and clean.

It pays to be fearless.  Have a loving day…Karm